I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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