Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
