a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
