While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize