so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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