You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Less talking, more tequila
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
