There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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