My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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