I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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