I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
