Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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