So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I look better un-naked...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My bed smells like the plague
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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