i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
