some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
