I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
