what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
