There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
