Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
