you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You were trust falling into bushes
i believe in u and ur pee
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
