I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
