So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
