im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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