Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
