I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
