fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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