somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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