yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
