Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
