I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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