So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
