somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
