Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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