In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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