I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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