I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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