Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
