I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize