Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
