thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
