I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
