I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
