i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
