it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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