i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
