watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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