the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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