ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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