If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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