I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
