I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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