just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
