You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
