Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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