did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
