You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
