I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
