He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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