i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
