I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
