***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
