Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
