I want to make a zoo with you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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