If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize