I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
