Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
