don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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