Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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