I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
