He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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